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Contributed in 5/02 by Steve Watton of Virginia Commonwealth University:

"I believe this is attributable to Oscar Wilde (but I could be wrong, there's a first time for everything...) - if English spelling were consistent, "fish" would be spelled "ghoti": gh as in enough, o as in women, and ti as in nation."

If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough 
If OUGH stands for O as in Dough 
If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis 
If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbor 
If TTE stands for T as in Gazette 
If EAU stands for O as in Plateau 

The right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

OWED TO THE SPELL CHECKER

I have a spelling checker-
It came with my PC
In plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh-
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps you awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

And now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite;
Of none eye am a wear.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed to be a joule.
The checker poured o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

That's why aye brake in two averse
By righting want to please.
Sow now ewe sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear for pea seas!

 

 
Last Updated
11/01/03

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